Step 6 | Find Your Support Squad
Ryan Howes, PhD
Clinical psychologist and writer in Pasadena, California, working primarily with men from a psychodynamic/relational approach
Week two of Wondermind’s Baggage Drop concludes with Dr. Howes reviewing all the ways we’ve found support over the last few episodes. He guides us all to reflect on our second week of growth with the help of voicemails and messages from other Baggage Drop listeners, and he’s created a custom worksheet for you to keep up your practice over the weekend.
Download the How to Find Your Support System worksheet!
Learn more about Dr. Howes
Check out Dr. Howes’s “Mental Health Journal for Men” workbook
(BAGGAGE DROP THEME BEGINS)
RYAN HOWES, PHD, HOST: Hi again! I’m Dr. Ryan Howes, and you’re listening to Wondermind’s Baggage Drop. The show designed to help you free your mind of whatever’s weighing it down so you can reach higher heights with your mental health. This is episode six of Baggage Drop.
Over the last two weeks, Baggage Drop has been exploring what’s working and not working in our lives, how to begin new habits, and how to both receive and give healthy support to live more aligned with our values. You might get more out of circling back and listening to some of our previous episodes, but you’re also welcome to begin where we are today. That’s all up to you.
So, let’s recap: our first two episodes from this week explored your “yeses”—that’s your emotional, physical, and mental support. Then we learned more about how capitalizing on your own external and internal strengths can help you support the people around you. And how showing up for others pays back because then they can understand how to show up when you need it. What’s in your control is also key, especially with your boundaries. We practiced noticing why and when to say “no” more, so that we have more ability to give and receive support. And then we talked about how to create internal support for yourself so that you can easily recognize when new yeses pop into your life. Here’s what our listeners told us:
[VOICE CLIP 1]: Give myself a treat every now and then. Maybe go to an event that I want to go to or something.
[VOICE CLIP 2]: I guess if I need to relax, I tend to do a cooking project and I make something nice to eat.
[VOICE CLIP 3]: I just do something very even small for myself that I enjoy. I go and take a coffee and go for a walk, meet my friends, or just go to sleep earlier, and I just feel good about it.
[VOICE CLIP 4]: I go to the gym, hang out with my friends. Love a good puppy cuddle.
[VOICE CLIP 5]: Lately to support myself, I'll write down a little box that says, "How will you protect your peace today?" And then I'll go through what is making me anxious or stressed and realizing where I could set more boundaries or where I need to say no.
DR. HOWES: Phew, that’s a lot of support. How about a round of applause for all of us getting through it!
(SOUND EFFECT: CROWD APPLAUSE)
I like my applause like I like my beans: canned.
(SOUND EFFECT: CRICKETS CHIRPING)
Ok, corny joke! (Thanks for the support, editors).
The Wondermind team also asked the community to leave voicemails about a support-centric question. That prompt was, “Let us know the last time you got a ‘yes’ from the world!” Here’s a bit of what we learned:
[VOICE CLIP 6]: I feel like the last time I really got a yes from the universe was back in the fall, where everything was just aligning. Things were shaping up to be so much better. Little things that I wanted, like concert tickets for a show that I was going to see with some friends in Bentonville were insanely cheap, and plans for the holidays, which I was stressing about, just aligned perfectly.
[VOICE CLIP 7]: I actually manifested my own divorce from a very abusive man, and I have never been happier in my life than I am right now, so yes.
[VOICE CLIP 8]: I forgot to pay for parking, but when I came out of class, I didn't have a parking ticket. Hallelujah.
[VOICE CLIP 9]: The universe does not like me very much. It's pitting against me…The universe sent me Adderall though, which is great.
[VOICE CLIP 10]: I do feel like there are definitely things that happen in life that are just more than coincidence, and I think it's a matter of how you interpret those. Whether it's a sign of, do I need a change? Do I need to learn something from this? So I think that the adversity that we face and the blessings that we receive, I think it's all a matter of how you look at the things that are happening to you.
[VOICE CLIP 11]: I feel like anything really is a sign or a meaning to react in a certain way and you just have to look around.
DR. HOWES: Wow. Those were fantastic. Thank you all for sharing. Just like last Friday, there’s no exercise to go with this episode, just keep up the work you’ve already been doing. If you want a bit more over the weekend, we’ve linked a worksheet on exploring support systems in our show notes. Check that out if you’re interested. And that’s curtains on my week hosting Baggage Drop!
(BAGGAGE DROP THEME BEGINS)
You’ve all done an amazing job getting this far. Kudos for your efforts. I’m now passing the hosting baton to my colleague Alo Johnston. He’ll be hosting next week’s episodes that will pick up where we concluded today.
ALO JOHNSTON, LMFT: Hi! Looking forward to joining you all in week three! We’re going to get deeper into our progress towards making habit changes that stick.
DR. HOWES: You’re going to love Alo. But before I go, if you want to hear more from me, you can find me at @ryanhowesPHD on Twitter.
This has been an awesome second week. Go into the weekend proud of the effort you’ve put in, and keep this momentum going by tuning in Monday for the next installment of Baggage Drop! Thanks for listening!
Senior Producer: Marisa Bramwell
Senior Writer: Amy Thompson
Producer: Jennifer Bassett
Producer: Pia Glenn
Audio Engineer: Joel Edinberg
Music: Epidemic Sound
Wondermind does not provide medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment. Any information published on this website orby this brand is not intended as a replacement for medical advice or a substitute for the advice of a professional, and you should not rely on it. Always consult a qualified health or mental health professional with any questions or concerns about your mental health