Selena Gomez Talks to Brooklyn and Nicola Peltz Beckham About Life Under the Media Microscope
The trio speaks openly about anxiety, therapy, and finding your people.If it seems like you've been seeing Brooklyn and Nicola Peltz Beckham everywhere lately, you're not alone. Sure, the couple is booked and busy, but on top of their professional endeavors, the newlyweds have been all over your feeds because the internet simply can't get enough of them. It left us wondering: What does all that constant media attention do to your mental health?
And who better to interview this pair than someone who is intimately familiar with life under a microscope? We tapped Selena Gomez, Wondermind's Chief Impact Officer and close friend of the couple, to chat with Nicola and Brooklyn about anxiety, therapy, and finding your people.
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Selena Gomez: When people go through what we go through—there being so much attention—I always think of the times when I get anxiety or I get stressed out or wonder what people are thinking about me. And that always drives me crazy. Are there ever moments where you guys feel like you want to just break away from all of it?
Nicola Peltz Beckham: I think we definitely both get anxiety. I definitely get anxiety and I think that's something I really struggle with. I just can't help reading the comments sometimes on my Instagram or whatever it is. If they comment on my appearance and stuff, that doesn't bother me. But what really bothers me is when they say something that's so untruthful and it's just a blatant lie, and I want to respond and just say like, "That's just not true." And I wish they knew the truth. That hurts my feelings, truthfully. But I try to ignore it. It's just hard sometimes to ignore it, especially when you see it all the time. It's just always in your face. It's just a part of what we live every day.
SG: Yeah, of course. I feel like guys don't talk enough about the stresses and anxiety that they get from all of it as well, and I wonder, how do you handle all of it?
Brooklyn Peltz Beckham: Oh yeah. I have the worst anxiety. I mean, literally my wife is my therapist. [laughs] I mean, we're always together, so whenever there's something on my mind, if it's stressing me out, we're very good at communicating. People are always gonna say rubbish and, you know, as long as you're happy and your family's good, then you just have to keep doing your thing.
NPB: Yeah. I think Brooklyn's much better at separating the two.
SG: Brooklyn's helped me actually become a little bit more laid back in certain situations.
NPB: You're right. He is. He's good at that. But I think sometimes it's hard when it's just like a lie. And I know it's a random person and it's easy to say, "Oh, it's a random person, who cares? You don't know them," which is very valid. And obviously I care [more] when it's someone that I love. But it's just hard when it's just a lie. That bothers me.
SG: Well, as a friend, I can say I've been frustrated for you guys on your behalf because I do think a lot of nonsense that happens to all of us unfortunately is unfair and obviously extremely untrue. How do you cope with that and with those feelings?
BPB: I go straight to her. Or, at first, I try and not let it bother me, but if it does kind of bother me and I start to stress about it, then I go to her. I think she's very—she's like this [crosses fingers] with her mom, so I think they talk about everything together.
NPB: I definitely go to my mom for everything—and [Brooklyn] also. I do think it's really important to have people around you that you can lean on. Obviously life has so many down moments and up moments and you just wanna share those with the people that you love so much and that you can lean on.
But I also think that sometimes, for me, when I'm anxious or upset about something, I like to go on a walk and just clear my head. Or even I love going in the car with Brooklyn and we can just be driving anywhere. It doesn't even matter if we have a location or just something silly—just going to the grocery store, picking up a coffee, and listening to music. My parents, they've been together a little bit over 40 years, and every single night they go for a drive and they just talk about their day. And when I was little I used to sit in the back of the car and eavesdrop on the whole conversation. I think that calms me, and it makes me happy to physically go out and just do something.
BPB: And while she's on a walk with the dogs, I start cooking food. That's what calms me down a little bit is cooking.
SG: Yeah, definitely. I can agree with that as a fellow—what am I? A chef, I guess? But I'm not, I just try to be.
NPB: Yes you are. Are you kidding me, Selena + Chef will always have my heart.
BPB: I'm not a chef.
NPB: Brooklyn gets upset because he's like, "When I have my show, are you gonna love it as much as Selena's?" I'm like, "I dunno!"
BPB: [laughs] It's ridiculous.
SG: Whenever things happen and you're kind of overwhelmed with life in general, what are your views on therapy and seeking help and medication and things like that?
NPB: I think that therapy is incredible, and I think that whatever form of therapy that helps you is [great]. I think every situation is different and whatever that you feel like works for you is incredible, whether it's a therapist or a friend or just something that you do to make you feel good. You know, we all work so hard and I think that it's nice to be able to take a second for yourself.
And especially you—I mean, I see you work so hard and you're never stopping. You go from your show to your movie to your singing, and you're working so hard. So that's why when I see you take a break, it genuinely makes me so happy. It also makes me happy to see the people around us just happy and like having a moment. I think life is really short and I think that it's really good to have those special moments, whether it's just going to lunch with your friend or taking a day or when we went to Florida. You know, it's just moments like that are the best ever.
SG: Yeah, I definitely feel like it's important to surround yourself with people who are like-minded but more just love you for you. And I think that's what I've appreciated about our friendship.
BPB: Oh yeah, that's the best thing you can do in life is surround yourself with amazing people.
SG: I feel lucky to be a part of you guys and our little throuple. [laughs]
BPB: Honestly, you're the best.
NPB: Our throuple! I love you so much. Selena, we love you so much, you have no idea.
Also, I think we speak the same love language where it's like, we never really go out in LA, we are with our six dogs now, we're always working or with the dogs. And when we're hanging out, it's always like sleeping over with Gracie, and Brooklyn's cooking, we're watching a movie, and that's the best. The best moments are just like when you don't have to do anything. You can just be with the people you love, and it makes me so happy, but I'm also such a homebody.
SG: I love it so much. What would you guys say to someone who may be going through a really hard time, whether it's their family situation, their school life, or anything?
NPB: I would say that if you're feeling sad or down or upset or you're going through a hard time, never hold it in. My mom has always told me that. She always said, "If you're feeling upset about something, I want you always to call me. I don't care what time it is." And I always tell that to my friends. I do not care what time it is. I just want them to know they can call me in the middle of the night, anytime they need. Just because I think knowing that you have that person or a few people like that in your life, it changes everything—for me, at least, it does. Just knowing that someone is there and I can have a conversation—even if it's silly and it's not that big of a deal but my feelings are hurt about something—I think it's important to be able to have that communication and not feel like someone's judging you for that.
BPB: Definitely speaking to someone. I mean, it really helped me. Whatever I go through, to speak to anyone, it just really helps. Again, what Nicola said, don't try and hide it in, 'cause then you just, you store it down, deep down and it's not good. I have done that.
SG: Yeah. And then you end up reaching for other things to cope with and it is a vicious cycle. You know, it's something that is really important to me. And I appreciate you doing this because this is what I love and this is what I care about. And I just know there are tons of people who are hurting, and it doesn't matter what walks of life you come through, everyone goes through life, and it looks different and it looks messy and beautiful. It's been such a pleasure getting to know people like you, and I'm so hopeful that people can see that you guys are as wonderful as I can see you. But…anyway! Did you guys want me to ask you any more? I feel like that was good!
BPB: Up to you.
NPB: You can ask us anything!
SG: Well now I just want to talk about us! [laughs]
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