When you hear the term “shopaholic,” you might think of lighthearted pop culture moments (iconic 2009 rom-com Confessions of a Shopaholic, anyone?) or memes about Carrie “Shopping Is My Cardio” Bradshaw. Most of us see shopping as something fun and light—a mood booster! And, let’s be real, that’s probably why we’ve all engaged in some good ol’ fashion “retail therapy” from time to time. But what happens when retail therapy becomes the only way you can cope with chaos? What happens when you’ve run up credit card debt and your relationships are suffering? What happens if you low-key suspect a shopping addiction?
Thanks to mass consumption culture, it can be hard to know when shopping becomes out of control—but there’s a big difference between really putting that Amazon Prime subscription to use and developing a full-blown addiction that can derail your life.
Here, we explain what a shopping addiction is, how to tell if you have one, and what to do next.
What is a shopping addiction?
Unlike, say, substance use disorder, shopping addiction is not a diagnosis you’ll find in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR). Still, many mental health professionals view it as a behavioral addiction, kind of like gambling addiction.
Interestingly, shopping addiction is recognized as a type of impulse control disorder called compulsive buying-shopping disorder, in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11). According to the Journal of Behavioral Addictions, this happens when you shop excessively for unneeded or unwanted items and that habit interferes with, “other interests, leisure activities, professional duties, and daily responsibilities.”
Shopping addiction, like many other addictive behaviors, often starts as a way to pacify some need, says Aaron Weiner, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in addiction. A lot of the time, that need is an emotional one, Dr. Weiner explains. “I view all addictions as being metastasized coping strategies.”
Whether it’s a mental health condition or just the stress of life, addictive behaviors like shopping, gambling, or watching porn can turn the volume down on whatever people are going through, says Dr. Weiner.
Over time, shopping can become impulsive, says Steven Yale Sussman, PhD, a social-clinical psychologist who specializes in addiction. If buying stuff makes you feel good, you can start to chase that high without realizing you're doing it, Dr. Sussman says. The pleasurable rush or rewarding feelings you get from adding to cart or coming home with something new pulls you back for more, especially if you’re not feeling so great. Unfortunately, the high is fleeting and often followed by remorse, guilt, or regret, Dr. Sussman explains.
With a shopping addiction, or any addiction really, you might feel distracted by things you want or your next shopping trip. It can keep you from focusing on more important stuff, like your job, your relationships, or just meeting your day-to-day needs.
Still, it’s not always easy to tell if your retail therapy habit is actually an addiction. You may not notice it’s getting more intense until it’s pretty bad, says Dr. Weiner.
Signs you’re dealing with a shopping addiction
Not sure if you just have a passion for finding deals or you’re entering addiction territory? Here’s what to look for.
1. You use shopping as a coping mechanism.
Ask yourself why you engage in this behavior or when it happens the most. If you notice it comes up when you’re stressed, bored, tired, pissed off, sad, or anxious, that’s a sign you might be using shopping to deal with your feelings. Since those emotions aren’t going anywhere, using shopping to manage them can really escalate, says Dr. Weiner.
This is not to say that a little treat on a particularly bad day is problematic. But if you spring for a shopping spree every time you start to feel sad, that’s something to look into.
2. You feel completely out of control.
A key factor of addiction is the inability to control your behavior, Dr. Sussman says. In this case, there’s an impulsive desire and need to shop, and if you can’t control yourself once it hits you, you might have a shopping addiction. Dr. Weiner suggests asking yourself: Do you control the behavior or does the behavior control you?
So if you pass a store having a sale and you can’t not go in and buy a bunch of things, that’s a solid indicator.
3. Shopping is messing with your life.
Like any addiction, shopping addiction always comes with some negative consequences, Dr. Sussman says. The most obvious is how much money you’re spending. But your time, space, and relationships can also take a hit.
For example, if you spend hours scouring the internet for steals and deals, you might miss out on time with friends, constructive self-care (i.e. making dinner, taking a nap), or getting work done. Buying things also means finding places to keep said things, which can be stressful too. You might face complaints from your roommates, family, or partners who live with you.
4. Not shopping makes you feel very uncomfortable.
To be clear, behavioral addiction won’t give you physical withdrawal symptoms in the way substance misuse would. But you could experience some emotional symptoms when you avoid shopping. Dr. Weiner says you might experience sadness, anxiety, or restlessness, especially if buying things has been your coping mechanism of choice for a while.
What to do if you think you have a shopping addiction
It’s normal to feel shame and embarrassment, but keeping any addiction a secret just makes it worse, says Dr Weiner. “The most important thing is to talk to somebody you trust,” he says. Even if you’re judging yourself, it doesn’t mean your loved one will.
Next, it’s time to find a therapist, preferably one specializing in addiction. This way, they’ll have the best understanding of the cycle and how to get you into a healthier place, Dr. Weiner explains.
There isn’t a gold standard for treating shopping addiction, but Dr. Sussman says cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can be effective. With CBT, a therapist can help you learn coping tools to manage feelings that drive you to shop. That could be positive self-talk, learning to pause before checking out, and reframing irrational thoughts, he explains. All of those can help interrupt your patterns of impulsive behavior.
Of course, it’s important to address any underlying mental health conditions or struggles that contributed to your shopping addiction, Dr. Weiner adds. This can help prevent a relapse and improve your overall mental well-being.
Practicing mindfulness might be useful too, says Dr. Weiner. Learning to sit with the urge to act out (see: buy stuff) despite the intensity of your emotions instills confidence that this craving will pass, he explains. He finds that the more you practice the easier it gets.
Wondermind does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a replacement for medical advice. Always consult a qualified health or mental health professional with any questions or concerns about your mental health.
